Excerpt from Blue Dreams and an Interview with Patti
Excerpt from Blue Dreams
August 17
2 p.m.
My counselor's name is Patti. She's a sober Marianne. I tell Patti about a trip to a waterpark from
years ago - the good parts. "We made
sugar cookies and spent the whole day in the sun." And then I say how Marianne spends hours
doing nothing. All she talks about are
men.
I leave my first session with an assignment to read fun
books.
Interview with Patti
I ask Patti if she's got some time to talk to me today for a blog post in a couple of weeks. She tells
me she only has a few minutes, but our session turns into an hour. I start off by asking standard questions, the
kind I do for all my characters. Where
do you live? When is your birthday? And I learn new things about Patti I didn't
expect.
L.A. Wolfe: Where do you live?
Patti: South Florida in a house with my mom and my
wife. We're both caregivers for my mom.
L.A. Wolfe: How old are you?
Patti: Laughs. Don't
I look twenty-five?
L.A. Wolfe: If you won't tell me your age, do you have a
favorite night cream?
Patti: Anything by Oil of Olay
L.A. Wolfe: Do you have kids?
Patti: No, but we spoil my wife's sister's kids. I'm an only child.
L.A. Wolfe: Are you a counselor, psychiatrist, or a life
coach?
Patti: Psychiatrist.
But it's hard not to play all three depending on the patient. Some people just want a quick conversation
and a prescription. Others want to know
what I think about how they're doing.
Talking is important.
L.A. Wolfe: Did you have a happy childhood?
Patti: I feel very lucky.
I was born in relatively peaceful times - picnics with Wonder Bread sandwiches,
Girl Scout camping trips, and generally feeling like I belonged. I grew up white, American, middle-class. It wasn't until puberty when I noticed I was
different from the other girls. They
liked boys, I didn't.
L.A. Wolfe: How did you cope with feeling different?
Patti: At first I didn't.
I ignored my feelings, my crushes on other girls. I thought I would change. By high school, I started realizing maybe
this is who I am. And it was frustrating
not to be able to say anything to friends about the girl I wanted to ask to the
prom.
L.A. Wolfe: When did you come out?
Patti: When my wife and I moved in together, I did not tell
my family we were a couple. My mom
mostly talked about grandchildren one day, and I'd tell her about a trip Sam
and I took or a party we were planning together. Things are different now. If my mom asked (she never did) I would have
answered directly.
L.A. Wolfe: Do you have any advice for people dealing with
incredibly stressful situations?
Patti: Yes, make time each day to do something you enjoy and
something that comforts you. Reading is
great for depression and relieving stress.
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