Working Title - The Waterpark Mom - Vanessa's September 5 Diary Entry

September 5

8 am

Med – Y.  Beast Sightings – Y.  Conversations with Waterpark Mom – N

Sis gets neon pink running shoes.  And she wears them in last night’s dream.  It end’s too fast.  Beast and I don’t get a chance to figure out why we’re in high school together again, and he’s back to being the Beast in my head.

Sis wears her new shoes in the dream and acts happening.  I wear the same outfit from last year, my shoes are the same as hers. 

“Why do we keep coming back here?” Beast asks.

“This time I wear sneakers.  In the last dream, Marianne gives me combat boots and mules.  In real life, she sells the shoes.”

I ask Beast what he thinks.

“Sometimes dreams are just dreams.  Do you like your new shoes?”

“They’re comfortable.  But these sneakers aren’t cool.”

And I tell Beast how they’re not shoes, the shopping spree sneakers.  Dad bought them before I came to live with Marianne.  It wasn’t really shopping like I used to do; Dad shops for basics, and we were both depressed when we went to the store.  I am surprised those shoes aren’t black.

“But people wear sneakers with everything.”

And Sis is in the dream at the entrance to the school, she looks awesome in her sneakers.  She reminds me of the way I used to be and the way Beast and I were together.  The volleyball boys and girls from the beach are here too and even they notice her “hotness factor.”  I tell Beast it’s a relief to watch the popularity circus from the sidelines and not be that girl.

“I don’t believe you,” he says.  “Does her day turn out better?”

“Always.  And she meets you in English class, here and in college.  But I won’t tell her the rest.”

 “Does she stumble in stilettos?”

Dad sometimes tells me this was the first sign.  I had to have the shoes.  And Marianne wouldn’t mind if I borrowed her credit card.

“The memory of how we meet plays on in my head.  I stumble into you and blame the heels.”

“That isn’t how it happens, not at first.”

And my dream ends with me telling Beast how sorry I am, the echoes of “You’re in my space,” and “No one talks to me like that,” a montage of memories – our whole dating life together.  Someone asks, “How was the wake?” before either of us can say what life is now.

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